omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We named our party play list daddy issues
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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