are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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