she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
