The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
