there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
