I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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