My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
