so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
