You're my little dorito
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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