Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize