the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
