Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
