I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
