Jerry, you need to find god
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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