so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
