But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
worst night to have a conscience
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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