you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
