Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
