last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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