I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
