Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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