...so i touched it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize