are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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