everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
