You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
