He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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