Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
