He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
