Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
