I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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