The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize