he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize