I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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