Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I want a musical about memes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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