I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
