We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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