I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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