All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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