nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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