Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
