I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
