he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
