CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
