i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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