so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
