Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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