it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
