I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
