whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
wow bdsm is so cute
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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