The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
