No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
