My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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