normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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