his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
