I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
