Walk of Shame. In a state park.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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