It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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